No More Homework! No More Tests!: Kids Favorite Funny School Poems

Lansky, Bruce, ed. 1997. No More Homework! No More Tests!: Kids’ Favorite Funny School Poems.. Ill. by Stephen Carpenter. New York: Meadowbrook Press. ISBN 9780671577025.

Review

This book of humorous poems selected by Bruce Lansky will be a favorite amongst elementary school children. The poems deal with school topics such as terrifying tests, disgusting cafeteria food, and even a “how to” poem entitled “How to Torture your Teacher”. The poems are arranged according to theme and accompanied by detailed black and white illustrations. The simple rhymes and concrete meaning will provide a smooth and enjoyable reading experience for children. The familiar school experiences (with a humorous twist) will also be appealing. Students will enjoy the images created such as the stomach turning line from “What’s This” by Helen Ksypka:

It’s heaps of slush—a mass of mush

or gobs of gluey lumps

Students will not be able to put down this book full of lighthearted poetry, and teachers will enjoy reading it aloud to an engaged audience.

Classroom/Library Connection

Recommended audience: 3rd-5th graders

The poem “English is a Pain! (Pane?)” by Shirlee Curlee Bingham highlights the confusion of homophones for students. It is a great poem for a choral reading before a Language Arts lesson.

Before reading: Ask students what are some “pains” they have to deal with at school.

During reading:

English is a Pain! (Pane)

Rain, reign, rein,

English is a pain,

Although the words

sound just alike,

the spelling’s not the same!

Bee, be, B,

I’d rather climb a tree

than learn to spell

the same old word,

not just one way, but three!

Sight, site, cite,

I try with all of my might,

No matter which

I finally choose,

It’s not the one that’s right!

There, their, they’re,

enough to make you swear.

Too many ways

to write one sound,

I just don’t think it’s fair!

To, two, too,

so what’s a kid to do?

I think I’ll go

to live on Mars

and leave this mess with ewe!

(you?)

Shirlee Curlee Bingham

Have students divide into five groups and assign each group a stanza. As they read a stanza, write the three homophones mentioned in the stanza on chart paper.

After reading: Choose a stanza and discuss the meanings of the different words mentioned. Have students work in their group to brainstorm another group of homophones and write their own stanza about the confusing words.